First the hard facts…
What is behind your addiction? Have you ever pondered this question?
Could it be that you are not fulfilling your deepest desires because a power bigger than you, is stopping you?
We will use smoking as an example but please apply to any addiction you have.
Why does such a small insignificant cigarette have so much power over us?
Smoking or any other addiction is simply telling us we have a deep unhappiness or void we don’t want to face. You won’t hear that from science and until we face that void, we will simply replace one addiction with another.
If we just take that in for a moment – and ask ourselves 1. What is it that I’m not facing? 2. Where am I not in control? 3. What am I missing out on? 4. Where or with whom or what am I giving my power to?
The gift in this is that your addiction is trying to tell you, you are not in control anymore and if you look, it will open you up to this fact, the first step to regaining control. Ask yourself honest questions and through the wisdom of your heart and your higher intelligence you will get honest answers. You may not like them but that doesn’t matter. It can be now that you listen when the suffering is small or it can be later when the suffering is so big you simply can’t ignore it.
Willpower causes resistance
Here’s how the problem cycles around – When you fight and struggle with an addiction you send yourself an unconscious message that you are under attack. The unconscious message the body receives is one of stress, nervousness and irritability. To overcome this ‘problem’ at least temporarily, you will grab for a cigarette, a drink or the desired comfort food or addictive behaviour you have going. Every time you do this you will feel defeated and worthless – and the cycle continues.
Instead of waging war against your anxiety, pain or poor self esteem (behind the addiction), give yourself the freedom to allow your addiction to be there. Even welcome it because it gives you insights into yourself.
Rather than using willpower to overcome an addiction as you have been taught, give yourself permission to smoke. It’s not so much the act of smoking you are enjoying, it is the act of freedom to make your own choices. The subconscious mind can be rebellious and reacts negatively when deprived of something.
Simply knowing you have the freedom to smoke is the first step to having the power to choose whether to smoke or not smoke.
If you quit with sheer willpower, you will not gain your inner sense of freedom, you will be more likely to transfer to another addiction – like eating or drinking excessively for instance.
There is a golden opportunity here for you
If you listen to your addiction – it will be your greatest teacher, if you fight it and battle with it and berate yourself for having it – you will lose because you are giving your energy over to it. The best course of action is to sit down with it as you would any teacher and ask it – what is it you want me to learn from this?
In order to gain the gift offered you, you must realise your addiction is not the problem, it is merely a symptom. If you fight the addiction you will miss the point and lose – every time.
If you can’t unpack the message behind your addiction, find someone who can help you. You won’t do this until you are ready to face yourself honestly. Are you ready?
It will be your ticket to freedom when you are.
The easy way to handle addictions
- Remember you always have a choice.
- You can choose not to follow your desire to smoke ‘every time’.
- This will stop the victim role in its tracks and put you in charge.
- Keep your cigarettes there with you so you know you always have a choice.
- You don’t want to beat the habit, you want to benefit from it.
- You are free to smoke at any time and are only a puff away, it’s always your choice – but be conscious about it.
- The longer the period of time you choose not to smoke, the more the urge to smoke diminishes.
- As soon as you have a desire to smoke you simply need to make a new choice. Every time you choose – you exercise your personal power. Whether you choose to smoke or not is irrelevant.
This approach will break the self fulfilling victim mode of I CAN’T and retrain your mind into I CAN – exercising free will and reclaiming your personal power.
Smoking could be the best thing that has ever happened to you if understand and deal with it appropriately. It can lead you to discover new ways of thinking and behaviour.
‘You created this habit – not to suffer from it, but to learn from it’.
To end the addiction, you must
- Make it a priority, a commitment to yourself.
- Don’t try to make too many other changes at the same time
- No rewards, quitting is enough
- Don’t tell anyone, this undermines your freedom to choose for yourself
- Carry your cigarettes with you so you can choose to smoke if you want to, that way people around you will assume you are smoking and not get in the way
- Go to places where people smoke so you can continually exercise your free will and remain in charge
- Remember you have choice, you are always free to smoke
- Avoid substituting with other habits, like chewing gum, over exercising, chocolate, coffee etc
- Choose a definite start time that does not interfere with emotional upheavals or stressful situations
- Ponder the benefits
- Acknowledge your desire when it comes up. eg ‘I really have the desire to smoke now and I am free to do so but right now I choose not to’
- Realise there may be triggers like being on the phone, turning on the TV etc. This is programming embedded into the subconscious mind. When triggers come up, give yourself a few minutes so you can consciously choose.
- If you do choose to smoke – do it in an area of the house where you don’t normally smoke – scrambles the auto trigger and sever the ties to your subconscious and make the decision to smoke more conscious.
- Allow your desire to smoke to become quite strong before actually reaching for the cigarette. Take note of where the irritation is in the body. It is important to feel how strong the desire is, most smokers light up unconsciously at the slightest urge to smoke.
- When the urge comes up – drink half a glass of water before you have the cigarette. In terms of the physical body the toxins in cigarettes need to be flushed out anyway and water is the best way to do it. This sets up a new pattern of supporting your body to deal with the toxic load. The side effect will be less desire to smoke.
In summary, addictions of any kind are not something to get rid of. They are an opportunity to train yourself to become the master of yourself and your destiny. Your addiction is the best teacher you ever had, right there with you guiding you and showing you where your power points are.
4 steps to take to stop smoking (works equally well for any addiction)
- When you feel the urge to smoke – name it – ‘I want to smoke now’. This will bring your unconscious desire to your conscious mind.
- Go and get a glass of water, this also brings your desire to the conscious mind and helps cleanse toxins.
- Then say to yourself – ‘I have the free choice to smoke now’. If you don’t remind yourself of this, your subconscious mind may go into a state of rebellion and trigger withdrawal symptoms.
- If you are desperate – say to yourself ‘I choose to smoke now’ before you reach for your cigarette or – ‘For this moment I accept I want to smoke but I choose not to at this time’ Then ponder how you would feel if you stopped smoking altogether – the difference it would make to your life, your health and your wallet.
Whether you stop smoking now or in a week or a year is up to you. What you have begun is to take conscious charge of your life – you will experience a positive shift in your thinking and in your attitude toward yourself and others.
What doesn’t work
You can now see why the research studies showing you the hazards of smoking does not work. It just adds to the self defeating mindset.
What works is to learn from your addiction and assign it the role of your greatest teacher and guidepost to your personal empowerment and fulfilment.
By Michele Marie
Walk Your Talk – Personal growth health consultanting
Inspired by Andreas Moritz
Timeless secrets of Health and Rejuvenation